God always seems to use my breaks from school to teach me my hardest lessons. This time it was about forgiving even when I wasn’t wrong. Had God asked me to do this a year ago, I’d probably thought He had lost His mind or I was hearing ungodly things. It was so illogical to me and against everything I believed in. But when He asked a few days ago, I said okay. Though it still feels illogical, His way is always best and I’m just going to move forward because I trust Him. No argument there, but it took days for me to understand how to move forward. I tend to think that how I think is who I really am – that my thoughts are controlled by the condition of my heart and bubble up from it. Never did it occur to me that what I was feeling and what was bubbling up from inside, was actually a habit. Feelings shouldn’t control whether I forgive someone or not, I should control whether I forgive someone or not. Feelings come from my thoughts and I should control my thoughts. They should not control me. And thought patterns can be habits. It isn’t that my heart is rank with evil, it is that my thought patterns were developed from a time when my heart was ruled by evil and now God has now decided that it is time for me to change this habit. I’m not used to thinking that it is okay (or even safe) to let something go when I’m right (I don’t even like to do it when I’m wrong- HA) but I totally trust God and I plan to do my best to obey.
